Slowing Down

Since I can remember, I have been a do-er.  I'm a huge fan of to-do lists, and I have tended to rate the day's "success" by how many items I've crossed off that day's list.  This became especially obvious when I stopped working toward the end of the pregnancy and was home most of the day.  When Daniel asked how my day was, my answers were usually either: "Good!  I got a lot done" or "Uhh... okay.  I wasn't very productive."

Enter baby Lucy.

I'm beginning to accept that the 10-15 item to-do lists are a thing of the past.  At least for now.  And that is a good thing.  I was completely freaked out by the hours of sitting (nursing, burping, consoling, holding) at first.  But I think it's good for me.  Good to slow down--to begin thinking about why I feel compelled to accomplish things.  Good to pour life into somebody else, and to feel the silence in those quiet moments. It's difficult to listen to God when your mind is constantly occupied, and it's easy to begin feeling worthless (or just worth less) when your sense of self value is based on check lists.