Charlie's Birth Story

For those wanting the short version, here it is.  Charlie was born at 3am on November 19th, 2015 after an all-day long "early" part of the labor and a quick, 1-hour "active" part of the labor.  He was 8 pounds, 20.5 inches long, and had a nice, average 14 inch circumference head.

To see the video -- http://www.earthmamaphotography.com/blog/the-story-of-charlie-owen

Here is the slightly longer version.  If words like, "placenta" weird you out, just scroll through the pictures and call it a day.

Wednesday night stunk.  It's hard to say whether it was the kids climbing in and out of our bed or the moderately-intense "practice waves" throughout the night, but it was not a good night's sleep.  In the morning, beginning about 7am, I began leaking amniotic fluid.  Some people are unsure of whether their water has broken or if they're having little baby-pushing-on-bladder "accidents," but there was no confusion for me.  Any time I had a "practice wave" during the day, there was a little gush of fluid to accompany it.  It didn't happen that way during my other three birthing times.  For all three previous birthing times, there was one single moment when my water broke, and it was at the start or during the actual birthing time, not hours and hours beforehand.

Fun fact--when amniotic fluid is leaking out of you for an entire day, during which you are in charge of three tiny people who follow you everywhere you go, you get lots of questions and commentary on said fluid.  All day Elliot kept clarifying, "Mommy, yo watah bwoke, wight?  But not da watah heat-uh.  And das becaws baby Char-wee is coming soon, wight?"

At one point during the day I had grand aspirations of going to Costco to get smoked salmon.  I'd been wanting smoked salmon for months but had been too afraid to eat it while pregnant.  The pressure waves I was experiencing were mild and spaced far apart, so I was pretty confident I could get through Costco and back home without incident--but not entirely positive.  Maybe it was common sense, or maybe it was the subconscious memory of leaving Costco covered in vomit, with a near-naked 11-month-old vomiting Lucy... but something kept me from attempting the feat.  I did, however, make it down to Lake Highlands at 4:30 pm, kids in tow, to deliver one last client's photos.  Dinah (my midwife) called to check on me as I drove home.

You're driving?

"Yes.  I'm driving"

Uh huh.  

"I'm on my way home now.  I'm going to rest when I get home."


Uh huh.  Okay.  Good plan. 

I pulled into Sonic to get some ice, and Lucy said, "my tummy hurts. I'm going to throw up."  I was immediately grateful we were almost home, and not standing in the middle of Costco.  She actually didn't throw up in the car, but she fell asleep on the couch as soon as we arrived home, skipping dinner and missing most of the evening.    

There is a general rule that babies need to be born within about 24 hours of one's water breaking.  After that, the risk of infection increases.  So by that evening--with no progression of pressure waves--I was beginning to worry that Charlie might not realize he had a deadline.   I tried not to  envision a failed castor oil induction and trip to the hospital for Pitocin and continuous fetal monitoring.  

My sister Ginnie came over to help Daniel prep the room, and not long after that Nonnie came over to help with the kids.  Besides the mild anxiety about where this birthing time was headed, it was a really enjoyable evening.  Nonnie and the kids baked cupcakes in preparation for Charlie's birth day celebration.  We watched The Good Wife.  Finally around midnight we went to bed, hoping to be woken in a few hours with some progress to report.  I sent one last update to friends and family that there was still no baby.

One hour later, at 1 am, I woke up to increasingly intense pressure waves and a lot of baby movement.  We texted the photographer, the midwife, and my mom to come over.  Dinah was at a nearby hospital but said she would be along within an hour. 


I was shivering--which sometimes happens during transition, just before pushing--and I was hopeful maybe Charlie would arrive very soon!  I just hoped Dinah would make it in time.



Elizabeth, our photographer, arrived shortly and began taking pictures. 



I stood beside my dresser, focusing on relaxing during each pressure wave and conversing a little between them.  I could feel that the pressure waves were evolving -- their quality was different than they'd been just 30 minutes before.  When Dinah arrived around 1:40am and got settled, I wanted to get in the tub--but we both thought checking dilation would be best, first.  She checked.  And she got that look on her face.

"How many centimeters?  (Long pause).  Don't say five."

Well, a little less than five.

"WHAT??  LESS than FIVE???"

Do you want a number?

"I mean... if it's less than five, it had BETTER be four!"

It's a solid 3 and 1/2.  

Words cannot express the disappointment, embarrassment, and discouragement.  I thought I was almost done.  This moment happened during Lucy's birthing time, but that was explicable.  It was my first birth.  I was a novice then.  This was unacceptable.

Everyone scattered to take naps, realizing it would be several more hours before Charlie arrived.  Daniel stuck beside me.  Dinah stayed in the room, checking Charlie's and my vital signs every so often.  And Elizabeth continued to take pictures.  Hypnobabies "Birthing Day Affirmations" played on repeat, but otherwise it was very quiet.  At first I stayed silent during each pressure wave.  After a bit, I decided to get in the tub--3 centimeters or not--to be more comfortable.

I focused on relaxing and on naming (in my head) the actual sensations I was experiencing.  I imagined that it was heat; and when my mind tried to start that problem-solving process it employs to get me out of difficult situations, I focused instead on the affirmations streaming from the computer in the corner.



Within the next hour, my breathing during waves progressed, from a quiet hhhhhh to a still-quiet hhhaaaaa to a talking-tone ohhhhh to a talking-tone ahhhh and then finally a slightly louder ahhhh.   

The pressure waves were long and productive, and there wasn't much time between them--particularly toward the end of that hour. With every other baby, there had been time between pushes to converse a little at the end. 
 

There had always been time to give them a heads-up that baby was about to come.  If nothing else--there had always been a little pause after pushing the head out, before the shoulders came out.  Not with this baby. 

Baby Charlie was born in one push, at 3am, just one hour from the 3.5 cm measurement.  Three to ten centimeters in one hour.  In fact, Dinah was donning gloves as the baby slipped out.  She hadn't been able to reach her assistant in the 20 or so minutes leading up to that moment.  And despite my intention to catch this baby myself, I was wholly focused on pushing, not catching.  Out he came, into the water, and Daniel reached down to pluck him out.  I felt that familiar flood of relief--he was out and I was done!

I said, "Get the kids!" (They had wanted to be there when he was born).  But there wasn't anybody to get them!  Elizabeth took one or two more shots and then crossed the hall to get Nonnie and the kids.  Within moments, Ginnie, both moms, and both big kids were back in the room -- everyone surprised he was already out.

Daniel rested him on my chest, which was difficult because the cord was so short.  He was asleep, totally peaceful and relaxed. 


The cord wasn't looped around his neck but was draped over his shoulder and neck, making the cord length very short.  The process of lifting it over his head and re-situating him so there was more slack in the cord woke him up, and he let out a healthy cry.


We spent the next two hours getting acquainted, letting the kids meet their baby brother and exchange presents, having celebratory cupcakes.  Charlie got his first check up (all fine), and I got a couple sutures and then all cleaned up.  Funny, though--the placenta slipped out while I crossed the room to get in bed.  It splatted on the floor, and Elliot happened to come in the room right after.  The look on his face... all wide-eyed and unsure, like something terrible had just happened on the floor.  A little reassurance from Dinah and a scooch back out of the room, and he was fine.

The "big kids" finally went back to bed about 6 am and slept a few more hours.  Of course, Oliver woke up shortly after they went back to sleep. 

He was shocked to see the baby, but it took very little time for him to get the idea--this was his baby "bubba."  He loved giving him "sweet pats" and kisses on the head.



We spent the next day or two (or ten or 20) recovering from the birth and waiting for things to settle down.  It has been almost 2 months now, and we are so, so glad to have baby Charlie in our family.  I love these photos and this video.  I am incredibly grateful to the many who contributed to Charlie's birth.  Daniel, Dinah, our moms, my sister, Elizabeth.  It makes SUCH a difference to have good support during a birth. 



And I am grateful to God -- for giving us Charlie to love and raise during this brief time here before we all go home.