What to write... what to write. People keep asking me how I'm feeling, and all I can think to say is "tired and discouraged." Daniel's had to travel a bit for work lately, and it has been hard. The kids miss him a LOT when he's gone and have begun expressing those feelings with devastated faces and tears upon hearing when he next leaves. It is rough.
It seems like this pregnancy has messed with my emotions a little more than the other ones did. It has created some challenges. I am hoping... hoping it settles down in this next trimester and I'm able to regain some stability.
Stability. That's a word that does not describe toddlers, 3-year-olds, or babies. The kids are delightfully young. They are fun and spontaneous and silly. They are concrete thinkers, and both of the older ones are beginning to really enjoy engaging in conversations with us. But it does go from "delightful" to "OH MY GOSH" in a matter of seconds, and sometimes it's hard to get back to delightful once they've plunged off the cliff of despair. There is not much room for reason when that happens. And most of what I'm thinking is, "keep it together. keep it together." It is hard to be screamed at, even when you know you're the grown-up and haven't done anything wrong.
My daily refrain, once Oliver is seated at the breakfast table and has begun screaming for food, is, "hang on.. wait a minute... hang on... it's coming." And this has developed into a sort of thug-rap song, complete with a chorus of, "When you gotta wait, you gotta wait patiently... when you have to wait, then you need to wait patiently! ...hang on wait a minute, hang on just a minute, hang on wait a minute, hang on just a minute." And the big kids have adopted this song as their own, and they take it upon themselves to sing it to Oliver in the mornings when he begins screaming for food. And Oliver actually bobs his head up and down to the rhythm of the song. It is beyond amusing.
Elliot's new favorite phrase is, "Oh gosh. Oh my." and he employs it whenever something is spilled or lost or otherwise disappointing or surprising. He also enjoys reminding us, "Mommy, I wuv you."
Lucy's favorite game is, "Will you let me go?"
No, said the troll! You have to say the magic word.
"Is it... abracadabra?"
No.
"Is it... please?"
No.
"Is it... tickle-me-more???"
YES!!! Okay I'll tickle you more! Hahahaha (tickle tickle tickle tickle)
Random funny thing Lucy said yesterday -- "Mommy, I love you so much, that I cannot help you clean up right now."
Both kids are obsessed with Doc Mcstuffins. Cars seems to have faded into the distance, for now--though I wonder if Elliot will come back to it when Oliver is old enough to be a fan with him.
We talk about baby sister here and there. The kids aren't preoccupied with the prospect of a new sibling, but they do seem to enjoy talking about her when the subject comes up.
The sleeping situation these days has actually sort of improved, though from the outside looking in, it looks worse. Both big kids fall asleep in our bed, and then we move them to the floor beside us when we go to bed. This means--as Daniel pointed out the other day--that even though we live in a 4 bedroom house, currently all 5 of us are sleeping in one bedroom (and closet). Since the kids each wake up anywhere between 0-4 times/night, having them right there beside us eliminates trips to their bedroom for each of those wakings, not to mention the dreaded "will-you-lie-down-on-the-floor-beside-my-bed-until-I-fall-back-asleep" questions. Now they can lie on the floor beside our bed until they fall back asleep. Much better.
I keep making a point to take mental pictures of the new things the kids are doing, and the day goes by so simultaneously quickly and slowly, and somehow I just think I am not writing down enough things! What can you do. Lucy's only 3 (well, almost 4), but I can definitely see that you quickly forget the stage once it's behind you. There are so many things from this period that I don't want to forget (and some that I do). I'm somewhat haunted by the myriad middle-agers who approach me ALL the time to say things like, "enjoy these precious years--they go by so fast." They all seem so sad that this stage is over. I hope I don't feel like that. I want to remember fondly the really precious parts, and I want to stay grateful that the less-than-precious parts are behind us.
PS - can you believe how clean the floor appears to be in this series? Who puts white tile in the kitchen? Sheesh.
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