First Day of School. But Not For Us.

Most of our friends are starting school today.  I'm reading through Facebook posts full of emotional moms who have shared cute pictures of their pigtailed darlings, holding signs announcing their new grade level. 

And although I know God's grace will be sufficient when that scary day comes, I am mostly just so darn glad it's not me today. 

We started the day in the triple stroller with a 3.4 mile walk, admiring the ducks along the creek, the fire trucks, and the garbage truck turning into people's alleys.  Elliot kept remarking on the "terrible smell" from the garbage truck.  Lucy enjoyed commanding the cars to Stop! as they approached stop signs and we crossed in front of them.  Oliver kicked his feet lazily in the air, somehow fully reclined in his upright seat.   

If these days really pass as quickly as everyone tells me, I'm glad I'm still in them. Even though the why-questions sometimes drive me bananas, and the screaming tantrums over insignificant things make me wish for a sound-proof, padded "play room"with a lock.  Today has been nice.  And I'm glad they're all still home with me. 

But to everyone who is past these years, whose kids are sitting in new classrooms today, nervous about friends and homework and all the year's unknowns--I hope your kids have a wonderful first day.  And if you are emotional, I hope it's in the presence of good friends who know just what you're going through and have tissues to share. 

Milestone Reflections

Can someone come tell this kiddo that he is still a baby?  He seems to think he is a toddler.




I am beginning to get it.  I've seen moms do this, and I could never really sympathize before.



How could milestones achieved ever be anything but a relief... a blessing... even a point of pride?  The milestones of the first kid are so exciting.  Each one.  I couldn't wait for the next one.  So exciting.



And the milestones of the next child I suppose I always compared to the first child -- not in a competitive way, exactly.



More just checking them off--yes, that's normal... that's what my first one did.



But with this little guy, the milestones are bittersweet.  They are coming too fast, and I think they will continue that way; he is in such a hurry to catch up with his siblings.



He makes for a delightful baby.  And the big kids are delightful big kids.  But the attitudes they develop sometime after 18 months can be trying.



And this one is still mostly grateful, cheerful, and just happy to be here.  Life is full of bittersweets.



But for now, he's still just 8 months.  He's still more a baby than a kindergartner.  And tomorrow he'll still be a baby.



I haven't missed it... this time period is not behind me yet.  And although some days I can't help looking forward to the years ahead, when babies aren't hanging on me all the time and the floor stays picked-up all afternoon... still, some days I am just so grateful to be wandering through Diaper Valley with Daniel.



It is sweet to see all these milestones Oliver is reaching, one day at a time. 

Playing With Water, Time, and Eternity

Remember how Lucy used to love playing with water?  I mean, really -- what kid doesn't like playing with water. 



But I remember she used to stand at the sink for as long as I'd let her, pouring water from cup to cup.  For whatever reason, the other day, she decided she wanted to play in the sink again.  And she was having such fun and was so still, and the light was so pretty. 




So I got out my camera and quickly got the random appliances off the counter. 



And then, just for fun--I looked back through the blog and found the photos from exactly a year ago.  And oh. my. word.  I cannot believe how much bigger she is now!!  It has only been a year.

I was reminded of a C.S. Lewis quote the other day. 

For we are so little reconciled to time that we are even astonished at it.  “How he’s grown!”, we exclaim “How time flies!” as though the universal form of our experience were again and again a novelty.  It is as strange as if a fish were repeatedly surprised at the wetness of water.  And that would be strange indeed; unless of course the fish were destined one day to become, one day, a land animal.

I think that's true. Maybe we are continually surprised by the passage of time because we were made for eternity -- for a timeless Being.



That being said -- I am glad and grateful to be in this temporary slice of the time/space continuum.  With Lucy.  And with Elliot and Daniel. And we are so anxious to meet #3.  And even though Lucy has grown so much in the past year -- I am holding the terror of it in the same hand as the gladness. 



I can't hold on to the baby years... or any years.  "Letting" them pass is trusting that God will be enough in the next chapter in our lives, and the next chapter after that.  Until the years are all used up and we can finally go home.



But for now, I'm glad to take this chapter one day at a time.  

New Cereal and New Sidewalk

 

It was like Christmas morning here today.  For the very first time (that they can remember) the kids tried a different kind of cheerios!



This kind of cheerios is cracklin' oat bran, and it's amazing.  The kids loved it.  It was my favorite as a kid.



Christmas morning for me this morning included new sidewalks!  Our neighborhood's sidewalks have shifted over the years,  and they're really bumpy in places--plus, they collect water when it rains.  Maybe it seems silly to get so excited about new sidewalks.  But I can't help it.



And the added bonus of real, live construction vehicles on our very own street was such a thrill to the kids.  They were a little nervous about them -- they're pretty noisy.  But they were definitely fascinated, too.



It has been a month of growing for Lucy.  It's normal for kids to go through short periods of increased irritability.  But that little phrase, "increased irritability" doesn't really do it justice in this case.  I said more prayers for patience and confessed more anger and apologized more to Lucy than every before.  It was rough.



Her emotional highs have been very high.  And her emotional lows have been epically low.  Sometimes it's just rough being a 2-year-old.  And sometimes it's pretty rough being the mommy of a 2-year-old.  Or the daddy, for that matter.



We are so grateful to be parents -- but it sure does remind us of our need for grace.  I'm thankful God is able to redeem the impact on my kids of even my worst parenting moments.



It's all grace with Him.

Evidence We Are Not Alone

Did you think this post would be about aliens?  Or God? 



It's not about either of those. 



There is evidence everywhere that Daniel and I are not alone.  Our toddler and (now proficient) walker leave telltale signs of their presence in every room of the house. 



It is all at once exasperating and endearing, surprising and expected. 



Lucy has taken it upon herself to unwrap every roll of toilet paper that has entered the house (we purchase in bulk on Amazon.com) and stack it up in each bathroom.  This means there are now 14 rolls of toilet paper (some partially unraveled) on display in the guest bathroom. 



While I was preparing dinner yesterday, Elliot brought me a roll of mostly-used-up toilet paper and signed please, looking intently at the fridge.  He did this almost urgently until I opened the fridge, and then he handed me the roll.  I was unsure, but following his intent gaze, I tried putting the mostly empty roll into the fridge.  His face showed a mix of relief and satisfaction, and he toddled away happily.



Lucy has taken to gathering big handfuls of dried leaves from the driveway and bringing them in to be fuel for the fire.  This means that there is always a long trail of leaves from the garage into the living room...

 

...not to mention an enormous pile of dried leaves in the fireplace when it happens to be in the 60's for several days in a row and is therefore too warm for a fire.



Lucy and Elliot both seem to believe that plastic play food must be stored in plastic food storage bags.  I'm sure this belief comes from observing us putting away leftovers or bagging produce in the grocery store.  But whatever the origin of the belief--there are ridiculous sandwich and quart and gallon-sized plastic bags of play food all over the house.  Stashed away in the corners of our bathroom (ours, not theirs), in play purses, under the slide, under my desk, inside toys' compartments, in the kitchen drawers, and especially in the garage. 
 

I think it must have made a very strong impression on Lucy that I stored some party foods (for Elliot's birthday) in the garage for a few days before the event.  Cupcakes, most particularly, were kept chilled in the garage (covered by plastic and dish towels) because I had no room in the fridge, and it was in the 30's-40's the few days before the party.  Lucy's favorite way to "put away" the play food is to stick it in a bowl, cover it with a (clean) dish towel from the kitchen, and set it precisely in the middle of the garage. 



Years and years from now, it will be the two of us again--Daniel and me.  The house will stay tidy (well, tidier, anyways).  Everything will stay where we put it.  And I think it will feel quiet.  And thinking of that helps me feel grateful for the bizarre misplacement of random items--because of what it represents.  Chaos in our lives, in the form of two very precious little people.  And soon to be three.

Colorado: Part Three

Our 2-week marathon vacation came to an end on Friday night.  Really, I should say Friday morning at 5 AM. 



That's when we got in the car with our kids, who are just about the most miserable car companions you could fear to have. 



There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth on the 17 hour drive home, but that is not the point of this post. 




After leaving Sarah and Bryan's awesome house, we met my childhood friend Kacie for lunch.  We used to live down the street from each other when we were five.  We hadn't seen each other in person since we were about 10 (I think?) -- 18 years ago.  It was fun to spend an hour together, re-getting to know her and, and to introduce her to our kids.
 

The last week of our vacation was beautifully low key. 



We mostly stayed around the cabin, watching humming birds and playing with the kids on the floor, on the bed, and on the porch. 


 
I think we got through the week with only 2 or 3 splinters, which is not bad--considering how often we were on the porch.



It was amazing how much the kids changed during these two weeks.  Lucy went from basically nothing to full out counting to 10 all by herself. 



And, she can enunciate "humming-bird" really clearly.  And lots of other words, too.



Elliot went from total spoon-feeding to mostly self-feeding. 



We went back to Sprague Lake for another hot dog and s'mores cook out.    Have you seen the square marshmallows they sell now??  They are so cool.  Big fan. 



This duck (top right) stayed under our picnic table almost the whole thing.  He reminded me of someone's pet puppy, looking for scraps--sure there would be some if he just waited patiently.



Lucy had fun playing with this faucet.  Good story, right?  I'll tell it again sometime.



We finished out the week with a series of family portraits. 
 

Nickie's family was first.  This is the best family portrait I've taken---which I'm happy about, since I spent some money educating myself on family portraiture, and It's nice to see improvement!  But also, it's nice to have good pictures of my sister and her family.



Next was my parents.

Aunt Karen lives in Iowa.  She is so fun.

And my Aunt Karen.



And Ginnie and Jack.  We missed the rest of the family who couldn't be with us (or couldn't be with us the whole time).  And I really missed the photo-opp of having the entire family together. 

Carrie is at her Air Force Officer training school, and besides a day in December, we won't see her for a couple of years (SAD DAY).  Heidi is training on a new helicopter up in Ohio, so she couldn't come this year, at all.  We missed you, Heidi. 

Daniel and I reflected several times during the trip about what a difference a year makes.  If I had a dollar for every time I said to myself, "one day at a time," I would be rich. 

A year ago, I was 7 months pregnant with Elliot.  We prepared our home (before we left for CO) for 13 holes to be drilled through our foundation and piers placed.  We came home to bare concrete floors and a thick layer of dust and dirt everywhere.  We were just embarking on a year-long housing situation that was rewarding but challenging.  We were 5 months into meeting with a community group that recently went WAY south.

Photos by Bruce Edstrom (Thanks, Dad)

It is amazing to look back on the past year and see God's faithfulness - His love and care and generosity to us.  Never in my life have I so frequently had the opportunity to see God's love for me as in this past year--particularly as I compared his merciful, kind parenting with my own.  I am learning more and more that I can't make myself be patient.  I can't make myself be merciful to my children.  But I can be grateful for the patience and mercy God gives me.  He is so generous with those things.